Who You Used to Be
by ShinkonoKokoro
Summary: Rose tried to get over the Doctor. Moved half a world away. But then, why does this bloke, here in LA, seem so familiar?


Twiddling a pen between her fingers, Rose sighed, rolling her eyes as the person on the other end of the phone line jabbered away. The work was only part time until she was able to find more permanent work. The move to LA had been rough, but worth it. She couldn't handle seeing his face on every street corner, evidence of his passing on the façade of every building. It was his city, and he had slowly edged her out of it. Jackie hadn't wanted her to go, but, of course, she'd seen the need for her daughter to take flight. There was nothing left for her in London. And there was nothing Micky could have said to have prevented her from going.

So she went. The secretary job had been easy to get because the firm liked the fact that she "had an accent."

"Rose! Hey, you want to go get coffee?" Another one of the secretaries poked her head in. "I'll treat."

She covered the mouthpiece. "What? No! It's fine. You don't-"

The girl, Mary, waved a hand. "Don't worry. You paid last time. My turn."

-~o0O0o~-

Rose smiled and waved her on. "Give me a minute-ah, yes Miss Donleigh. I'll have Mr. Farrenburg call you. Don't worry. Yes. Yes, I've got your telephone number. Yes. Thank you. Goodbye." She dropped the phone on its receiver and sighed. "Alright. I'm done. Shall we go then?" She rose and slung her jacket over her shoulders. It was cool out today, for Los Angeles.

Mary jabbered on, much like the woman on the phone, as they walked the crowded side-walks. The cafe was a bit far from the offices, but it always reminded Rose a little bit of England. So they went. Looking around, Rose felt her heart jump into her mouth. "Doct-" The black leather jacket and close-cropped head entered a building across the street.

"Rose?" Mary's voice wafted after her as she sprinted across the street, dodging cars.

"Doctor!" She burst into the building and looked around wildly. "You!" She skid to a stop in front of the reception desk. "Did you see a tallish bloke run in here? Leather jacket? Short brown hair? Talks a little like me?" she demanded breathlessly.

"Excuse me, ma'am?" The receptionist looked confused.

"Tall man! British! Leather jacket!"

"Um... I'm sorry, ma'am, but I don't remember seeing anyone like that come in here."

Rose grit her teeth and opened her mouth to say something further, but Mary's voice interrupted her.

"Rose? What's the matter? You went running off like that."

Rose shook her head. "It's... nevermind. Nevermind. It's nothing... I just thought I saw someone I knew..."

"A doctor?"

"What? Oh. No. No. Let's go. I'm hungry."

"Oh, sure!" Mary smiled and continued her litany on inter-department romances as they finished their meal and returned to the office.

After being unsettled by the fact that she was now seeing things in this foreign city, Rose's day didn't get much better. Her mum called, keeping her on the phone much longer than was proper for a personal call.

"But I never talk to you, sweetheart," Jackie whined.

"I know. I know, mum! But the time difference-"

"Oh Rose. You've always got some sort of excuse for me."

Rose sighed, not feeling up to dealing with the guilt trip. "Sorry. I'm sorry, mum. I just... It's been kind of hectic, and..."

"Well what's the matter? You sound upset."

Before her mouth could blurt out her fears and hopes, Rose rushed, "I've got to go, mum. I've another call. I'll talk to you soon, yeah?"

"Don't make promises you can't keep, sweetheart," Jackie said quietly.

"Mum..."

"I understand. You do what you have to do, Rose. Go one. Ta."

The line died and Rose sighed as she put the phone down. Making a small noise of frustration, she let her head drop to the desk.

"The work's not too much for you, is it, Miss Tyler?"

Immediately she snapped to attention. "Yes, Mr. Farrenburg. I mean, no, it's not too much work. I just... Sorry. It's been a long day. I thought I saw an old friend. But he..."

Doug Farrenburg took her silence to mean something Rose wasn't sure it meant, and a look full of fake sympathy filled his face. "Ah. So sorry. I understand. I used to see my third wife everywhere after she died."

This time it was Rose's turn for false sympathy. The bloke was mostly a rich snob, but the money was good and the work not too demanding, so Rose kept the job. "Of course, Mr. Farrenburg." She dropped her gaze.

"It must be hard on you... You know what, take the day off tomorrow."

"What?"

"Mm. Yes. It's fine. Take tomorrow off. I will too!"

Tomorrow was Friday. That would give her a nice three-day weekend. "Th-thanks..."

"And you know what! Take the rest of the afternoon off! Go home, Rose. You've been working hard." And with that, Doug Farrenburg swept out of the office, laughing to himself.

So Rose followed, shaking her head. Eccentric men...

At her flat, she sat down at the kitchen counter, heaved a deep breath, and stilled. She suddenly had a lot of time off and nothing to do. Not to mention her thoughts were filled with the Doctor. Biting a lip with the sudden thought, she sat down to see if she could sketch him well enough from memory. Maybe if she put pictures up, people would recognise him and contact her about having seen him. Or not. It could have just been her over-active imagination. And wishful thinking. How would he have gotten back from the space station? It was galaxies away. And years away. Shaking her head, she set down to the task anyway. He was too familiar. Too similar.

When the small clock from her bedroom chimed 3 A.M., Rose put the pencil down and was proud of her seventh rendition of her Doctor. She stretched and set it aside for tomorrow.

By mid-morning Rose had scanned the picture in and visited a variety of forums to post the picture around and then spent the next two and a half hours reloading the websites obsessively to see if there had been any reply. Before she knew it, the entire weekend had passed and there were still no replies. In fact, it wasn't until another week and a half until Rose got a reply. But she sat up and had to read it twice to understand the words.

_"I may have seen this guy in the Los Feliz area. But I can't be sure, sorry."_

Rose sighed, leaning back in her desk chair. "Bollocks..."

Mary laughed as she came in. "You British are so cute!"

Raising an eyebrow, she sat up fixing Mary with a look. "Right... Did you need something?"

"Lunch?"

Her watch told her it was lunch time, but she wasn't hungry. "Sorry. I think I'll pass today." After all, her computer was waiting.

"Well, if you say so... See you later!"

Mary left, but the door opened a few minutes later. "Forget something?" Rose asked without looking up.

"Miss Tyler?"

"Hm? That's me, yes? Can I help you?" She examined the two men in suits, smelling trouble.

"Yes. We'd like to speak with you in private, if that's okay?"

"What's all this about then?"

"Please come with us." One of the men moved around the desk and grabbed her arm.

"'Scuse me. Shove off, mate! I nev-"

-~o0O0o~-

When Rose woke up, she didn't recognise her surroundings.

"This one has pain."

"Yes. Yes, Echo, now you shouldn't be here," a light tenor said with habitual patience.

"But this one hurts."

"I know that E-"

"Echo. Please leave," another voice, British, said. "You have no further business in here. Go draw a picture for me."

Rose coughed. "What's... what's going on?"

A short man with tawny hair and an easy smile stepped into view. "Hi! I'm Topher. And my friends call me Topher. At least, they would if I had any friends. But I really don't, and it's not some-"

"Topher," the austere voice interceded smoothly.

"Aaah, right. Right. This is Adelle DeWitt. She kinda... Well. She's kinda the big word around here. You know, the big cheese, the-"

"Yes, Topher. You, Miss Tyler." The woman finally stepped into view, a brown bob only adding to her austerity. "What game are you playing, Miss Tyler."

"Game?" Rose blinked a couple of times. "Sorry, I don't quite understand. I'm not playing a game..."

"Adelle. We saw your ad."

"My ad? Sorry if I sound like a broken record, but I don't know what ad you mean..."

"This is not a time to be playing games, Miss Tyler. There are very serious consequences involved here."

"For what? I don't know what's going on! If you explain to me-"

"There's no need to explain anything to you. How do you know this man?" Adelle held up the picture Rose had sketched.

"The Doctor?" She tried to sit up. "Could you untie my please?"

"Uh... I don't think she's dangerous, Adelle..."

"Untie her then."

When Rose was able to sit, she took careful stock of her surroundings. "How do _you _know that man?"

Raising an eyebrow, Adelle folded her arms across her chest. "He came to us."

"What do you mean... What d'you mean he came to you?"

Giving a conciliatory nod, Adelle continued. "We found him. He came to us wounded and a bit addled. So we helped him."

"Helped him how..." Rose said slowly.

"No, you tell me how you know him. Who is he?"

"This man... Where is he. Let me see him. Right away." Rose stood, not caring that her voice was becoming slightly hysterical. "I need to see him! Please! Please let me see him!"

"Topher. Go and fetch Chronos." Adelle never took her eyes off the blonde, watching for any sudden movement, but Rose only gave a low laugh. "Something funny, Miss Tyler?"

"You'd never know why 'Chronos' is so fitting for him."

"Then I pray you enlighten us."

"British people are scary..." Topher commented, as he brought a familiar face through the door.

"Doctor!" Rose rushed to him, but blank eyes greeted her. She gripped his arms. "Doctor? Don't you recognise me?"

"He came to us with barely any memory as it was, Miss Tyler. He will not recognise you now. He has no memories."

"What d'you mean," Rose demanded.

"She tries her best," the Doctor's voice said with none of the fire and passion that usually filled it.

"Of course I do! Now what have you done to him!"

"Tell me what you know if this man. He is... not like the others."

"Right," Rose rolled her eyes. "Because he's not human."

Adelle's eyes narrowed. "You will tell me. This man took up five hard-drives."

"What? What are you talking about?"

Sighing, Adelle pinched the bridge of her nose. "It seems we are at an impassé until we understand each other. Sit down and I will tell you what I know, and then I expect you to tell me what you know. Are we clear."

Rose sat back down, pulling the Doctor next to her possessively. "I understand. Start talking."

Adelle leaned back against Topher's desk, narrating the business of the Dollhouse. When she finished, Rose's face had screwed up in an expression of disgust.

"You people are sick! That's disgusting! It's human slavery!"

"Yes, yes. As if we haven't heard all of this before," the brunette drawled.

"Restore him. Right. Now." Rose stood, moving in toe-to-toe with Adelle. "Fix him."

"He signed a contract with us, Miss Tyler. For five years."

"And how long has it been?"

"Woah, ladies. Woah woah woah. I think we need to back down," Topher said, hovering just outside of their aura of combat.

"You're the technician, right?" Rose rounded on Topher. "Fix him right now! Give him back his mind."

"Uh..." His gaze shifting from Rose to Adelle, Topher sputtered. "I can't... uh... I can't just...do that. I... I mean, it's not that simple. Plus... Adelle's the one...who... well, she tells me what to do..." His voice trailed off as he shrunk away.

"Thank you, Topher, for that... Now, Miss Tyler. I believe it's your turn for sharing information."

"This is the Doctor." She grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze. "He's not human. He's an alien. A Time Lord. He's a very special individual to me. And he's not some... some _doll_."

Adelle snorted. "Well he didn't remember who he was when he came to us in the first place."

"So how could he have signed a contract," Rose snapped. "He'd have been in no condition to make any sort of decision like that!"

Adelle had nothing to say.

"Undo your process right now," Rose said lowly, her brown eyes taking on a glow from the surrounding electronics. "Or I-"

"Or you what, Miss Tyler. You wouldn't make it out of here alive. You're in no position to threaten. And in any case, we can't."

"What do you mean you can't," Rose demanded. "You're not doing a very good job of explaining yourself."

"Topher," Adelle said simply.

"Eeeh... Well, you see, in the human brain, there are natural neuron inhibitors. They act as a sort of fail safe to keep all the information from rumbling around. You know, kind of like the three rings to a binder, the folders in your my documents file-"

"Topher."

"Ehehe...Well, the point being," the short man apologised, "that your friend here, yeah. He doesn't have those. And through a whole bunch of twisty, turny stuff, he managed to kind of absorb a whole lot of personality."

"I don't understand anything you're saying," Rose clipped with the practised boredom of one who hears techno-jargon frequently.

The man muttered something that sounded vaguely like "Brits." "Okay. We fit your friend here with active hardware, so to speak. So his brain is wired now like the rest of the actives here in the dollhouse. However, because of his lack of brain inhibitors, he's got the personalities of all of the actives here. They're all..." He waved his hands around his head. "They're all in there somewhere. And we didn't realise this until we sent him on a mission. Aaaaand it didn't go so hot-"

"It was a disaster."

"It was a giant flaming ball of disaster," Topher echoed Adelle miserably. "So for now, we've been keeping him here under very close watch. We've already had to sedate him five times."

"What!" Outrage flew threw Rose's veins. Whirling to face her Doctor, she forced herself to speak calmly. "So that means that he's still in there somewhere, yes?"

"Uh..." Sharing a look with Adelle, Topher shrugged. "I guess that would be right."

"Is there some way to pull him out? You know, make _him _be the one that's 'on top?' Because he's the only one that would be able to fix this, you know." Rose turned slowly to glare at the technician. Who flinched.

"Um..."

"Don't look at me," the dollhouse owner said, shrugging away the problem.

With a shriek of frustration, Rose grabbed the Doctor and did the only thing she could think to do that would certainly shock him.

His lips were still and limp as she tried to kiss him. Rose felt awkward. Rather like kissing a squishy doll. Just as she was about to pull away, rough hands grabbed her arms and pulled her close like the polarity of a magnet had just been turned on. As she gasped, a tongue swept into her mouth and begged askance, so she joined the dance. Freeing her arms, she twined them up around the Doctor's neck, pressing closer for warmth as prickles tripped down her spine. She only pulled back when she heard her own undignified moan echo into his mouth.

He was panting slightly, but gazing at her hotly with very aware blue eyes. "Rose."

And then she was laughing and crying all at the same time, hitting him without meaning any harm and cursing him with affection for leaving her, making her leave, and pushing her away.

"Rose..."

"How? How did you get back? How did you get here? Why didn't you look for me! Why didn't you come back to me!" The questions poured from her lips, completely forgetting her audience.

"Wow..." Topher breathed. "That's... I've never seen that happen before..."

"Really?" Adelle commented, a sardonic lilt to her voice clear. "You've never seen physical affection, Topher."

The man flushed. "That's not what I mean." But Adelle only made a small noise in reply. "SO!"

Rose and the Doctor looked over at Topher and suddenly the blue of the Doctor's eyes bespoke a storm where they'd previously held warmth. "You," the sharp northern accent cuts through the room and Topher ducks behind Adelle who stands away from the desk now, jutting her chin up.

But Rose tempers his movement and following words, feeling she's covered it for the both of them. "I take it, Miss DeWitt," she begins coldly, "that we are free to go?"

The 'no' shows clearly in her eyes, but then they're narrowed and all of the scenarios are played through Adelle's mind like an army general preparing the next attack. So she says yes.

"Good. However, before we leave, I'd like to see you rip up his contract, if you please."

Adelle's eyes harden, but she sighs. "Topher. I'd like you to fetch the contract please. It's in my desk, not filed, but in the top drawer.

"Why am I the errand boy. I'm smarter than that! I-"

"Topher." Her voice is like steel and he darts out the door.

"He doesn't hurt anymore," Echo's voice says almost cheerfully.

Something sparks in Adelle. "So what has happened to all of the other personalities, Mr..."

"Doctor," he drawls. "Just the Doctor. And they're still there. Somewhere."

"You remember them all? How is that?"

He grins, rakish and confident. "Well. I am the Doctor."

"You say it like it explains everything," Topher huffs, brushing by Echo and the couple to Adelle. "Here, boss lady."

With a structured flurry of movements, the pieces flutter to the floor. "Satisfied."

Rose nods in affirmation and then looks around. "So... you'll show us the way out, yeah?"

Adelle sighs. "Topher."

"Yeah yeah! I got it, I got it. Show them out. But..."

They all hinge on Topher's last word.

"Topher, don't make me ask."

"But what if there are residual problems? I mean... unless you want all of those people in your head..."

The Doctor contemplates this a moment. "Show me your programs?"

Topher brightens at the opportunity to _finally _show off and shows the Doctor over. The two of them begin to talk geek, and Adelle fixes Rose with a look.

"Tea, Miss Tyler?"

"Rose. Rose is fine. And yeah. I would like tea, thanks."

"Echo. If you would please find Dr. Saunders and ask her to bring some tea up."

"I do my best!" The girl smiled, halfway, and then left.

"They're really pretty creepy," Rose comments after the girl has gone. But the other woman only shrugs, Topher exclaiming in the background about the Doctor's sonic screwdriver.


End file.
